Job Description Outtakes

by Lisa Lombardi in

Are you looking for a creative gig, but find most job descriptions to be utterly boring? Do you wind up losing interest before you even get to the "Apply" button? Have you noticed how most descriptions seem to start with a set of vaguely upbeat questions?


I was asked to revise some job descriptions and thought it would be worth exploring an option that was entertaining, engaging, and might just stand out in a sea of Indeed results. Needless to say, that option did not get used, so its final resting place will be here.

The company-specific info at the beginning has been removed — just know that you're missing out on an excellent Cheers and Frasier analogy.

Associate Creative Director, Design

We’re looking for an innovative creative leader to spearhead our marketing design efforts and help guide the entire team to greatness. Someone who is an expert at their craft and can inspire fearless brainstorming and concepting with the end goal of more creative, well, creative.

Eight years of design experience at an agency or in-house team, please. Digital and e-commerce knowledge is key, and creative dictators and prima donnas will be turned away at the door.

Now… what else?

Necessary People Skills, Tech Skills & Brain Skills

  • Endless curiosity.
  • Strategic thinking that puts Risk champions to shame.
  • Robot-like organizational powers.
  • Plays nice with others ( well, too).
  • Sense of humor — the drier, the better.
  • Keeps data and customer insight on speed dial.
  • Experience managing managers, preferably in a style that’s somewhere between Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson.
  • Master of Adobe Creative Suite and fluent in Invision and Sketch.
  • Go-to person for typography, layout, photo composition, and print dilemmas.
  • Creator and tinkerer of graphics systems, pattern libraries, and design principles.
  • Walking Digital Best Practices reference book.


A Million Bonus Points for...

  • Experience with motion design and video.
  • Hours logged on photoshoots or collaborating with those who do.
  • Familiarity (or deep obsession) with home furnishings, and interior design or fashion.
  • Print experience! It’s not dead yet!

A Day in the Life for This Role

8:45AM | Check out the latest store displays on the way into work, because our office is in. a. mall. (!!!)
9:00AM | First dose of coffee. Powwow with the associate creative director of copy and creative director.
10:15AM | Think about the customer.
10:30AM | Brainstorm with the Marketing and Promotions teams.
11:45AM | Think about the customer.
12:00PM | Grab food from either the numerous snack walls or the three Sweetgreens within walking distance. (Or, heck, Chipotle. We don’t judge.)
12:30PM | Think about the customer.
12:45PM | Review projects with product designers.
1:30PM | Meet-up with the Social and PR teams to find out what’s doing well.
2:00PM | More coffee.
2:15PM | Think about the customer.
3:00PM | Attempt to reach inbox zero. Digest performance data. Rattle off questions and ideas to the appropriate teams.
4:00PM | Quick stand-up with the Creative team. Make sure all the brands remain distinct but equally awesome.
4:45PM | Pivot strategy for the latest major campaign. Brainstorm a new, attention-grabbing theme.
5:45PM | Celebratory cheers with the team at one of the beer kegs in the kitchen.
6:00PM | Think about… what’s for dinner.

Portfolio Checklist

  • Include one. Seriously.
  • Insight-driven conceptual work.
  • Projects for unexpected channels (ambient, experiential, out-of-the-home — all great!).
  • Successful creative that influenced a positive change in customer behavior.

So, You Come Here Often?

by Lisa Lombardi in

Normally, I'm pretty anti-social media, but my most recent project for AllModern's Instagram and Facebook accounts was really fun!

It all started with a throwaway comment that we should create some cheeky Valentine's Day "cards," and transformed into, well, this.

I present to you: "Flirty Texts from Your Furniture."

Click through to see them in action — they're animated!

Happy belated Valentine's Day.

AllModern 2017 Holiday Catalog

by Lisa Lombardi in

It's in the mail, folks! And I hate the be the bearer of bad news, but word on the street is that it's the last AllModern catalog ever. So hang onto your copy, because that thing's gonna be worth millions some day.

If you didn't make it onto the list but still want to see the final product, head over to my portfolio page and get a headstart on the holidays. (Me? I'm already writing for Cyber Monday sales. Oh, the joys of retail.)


AllModern Holiday Catalog Outtakes

by Lisa Lombardi in

Just in time for fall, we've wrapped up the AllModern Holiday book! I listened to Christmas music for almost two weeks straight in order to write this one, as is clearly evident in the latest editorial device: the candid carol.

Cabin Fever.JPG

Sign up now so you can get yours in the mail next month! It won't have any of these gems in it, but it's still pretty good — scout's honor.

AllModern Fall 2017 Catalog (+ Outtakes)

by Lisa Lombardi in

I'm neck-deep in holiday (and, somehow, early spring and late spring) planning at work, so I almost missed that the AllModern fall catalog dropped today! If you're not on the list to get one (seriously? still?), you can view it on my portfolio page.

Like last time, I've saved some of my favorite outtakes from the writing process... there are fewer this time, but I'm still bummed I couldn't keep my original intro paragraph. Ohhhhh well.


AllModern Summer Catalog Outtakes

by Lisa Lombardi in

I've been branching out a bit at work lately, and we just wrapped my latest project: the summer catalog for AllModern. If you're not familiar with the brand, its motto is essentially "everything modern at unbelievable prices." The style and brand voice could not be more different from Birch Lane — which is why I had a blast doing it.

Once the catalog is in the mail, I'll add the whole thing to my portfolio, but in the meantime, I wanted to share some of the stuff that didn't make it into the catalog. When you're working in a creative field, there are always rounds and rounds of feedback, and sometimes, even when you really love an idea, it's not what the client is looking for.

BUT. That doesn't mean they have to disappear into the ether, right? Without further ado, here's a peek at some of the stuff that wasn't quite right for the book, but still makes me smile:

Obviously, none of this should be considered final, and the book went through a couple rounds of stylistic changes, so that's why there are different versions of capitalizations. I can't wait to share where we landed with the final product! (Some of my snark survived.)

Writerly Things Update

by Lisa Lombardi in

It's July, and that means that a fresh batch of stuff from Birch Lane Kids. Check out a few of my favorite spreads from the newest catalog over at my portfolio (BLK now has its own dedicated section) and, if you're feeling young-at-heart, maybe shop for some adorable home decor.

Personally, I recommend:

Jungle Jumble Bedding Set: Deep in the heart of this jungle lives a posse of wild animals your child will love, all illustrated in a fun cartoon style. A dark blue abstract pattern on the reverse side allows for the option to completely change the look at a moment's notice.

Aim is True Bedding Set: This bedding set is a true bullseye when it comes to style. The comforter's abstract, arrow-inspired design pops in shades of cool aqua and warm goldenrod, and the reverse side features a coordinating pattern.

Hobbes Captain's Bed: A salute to those in need of some serious storage, the Hobbes Captain's Bed offers four drawers, two open cubbies, and plenty of underbed space that's easily accessible by a sliding footboard panel. Capped off by simple arched designs and spindle detailing, this bed is ready to take on clutter and look good at the same time. Aye aye, captain!

Pod Squad Curtains: A repeating pattern of whale silhouettes gives these curtains a cool, graphic look which incorporates pops of color into its neutral palette. Set of two.

USA! USA! Canvas: You can teach your kids about the 50 states by enduring a 224-hour road trip (plus flights to Alaska and Hawaii)…or you can use this map, printed on professionally wrapped canvas with fun, bright colors. Your sanity will thank you.

Stay Gold Cloud Wall Cubby: Your style forecast is cloudy with a chance of awesome when you add this cute wall cubby to your child's room. A black and white triangle print adds a graphic punch to the look, while the gold finish brings some metal to the mix.


Next up: I pitched in with the new DwellStudio catalog for Fall. Once it's been mailed, I'll have some pretty exciting stuff to share!

It's a Good Thing I'm Pretty Immature

by Lisa Lombardi in

The time has come to finally reveal what I was not-so-subtly alluding to in my last writerly post. Despite what my brother's friends assumed, I am most certainly NOT pregnant (how would that be job-related, guys?). Nope, the big (little) news is that Birch Lane Kids has officially launched!

When this project was first announced, I was a little wary. I don't have kids. None of my friends have kids. I don't even really like most kids. But it turns out that I spent very little time writing as if I had kids, and plenty of time writing as if I was a kid. And that is something I'm quite good at, so the whole thing was actually a blast.

The assortment is pretty small at the moment, but we're rolling out another catalog in July (the April one is in homes now; you can see some of my copy from it here), so expect the selection to keep growing. In the meantime, I'll keep on thinking up pun-tastic product names (somehow I got away with naming a new rug "Moves Like Zigzagger") and trying my best to argue against a complete onslaught of pink.