That Time I Sold Myself for Charity

I can probably count on two hands the number of times I've been asked out on a real date. Narrow it down to requests from someone I'm actually interested in? One hand.

I've never been the girl that guys flock to, or flirt with, or talk about with each other — like, "Is she gonna be at the party? Is she single?" 

I've never been the girl who gets the attention. 

Until two weeks ago.

My attitude toward life for the past six months has gone a little something like this: fuck it.

I was fed up with roommates, flaky friends, internet dating nonsense, money worries, job troubles, and my life in general. So I started taking a new approach.

Sick of my living situation? I moved, broken budget be damned. Tired of trying to arrange outings with other people? I started going solo and exploring on my own. Bored and unappreciated at work? Time to stop saving those vacation days.

This might sound like common sense to most people, but for someone who's spent the majority of her life meticulously planning, constantly worrying, and always trying to please everyone else, this was a revelation. And it was at that point that an email circulated around the office: a friend of an employee was running a date auction for a local charity and needed volunteers to be auctioned off.

Fuck it. Sign me up.

NAME: Lisa L
AGE: 29
OCCUPATION: Copywriter
INTERESTS/HOBBIES: Reading, road tripping, trying out new recipes, fixing up my apartment, exploring the city, pretending I'm outdoorsy
SUPERHERO POWER I'D LIKE TO HAVE: Teleportation (no more parking tickets or taking the T!)
ONE PLACE I'D LIKE TO VISIT: Iceland

I submitted my profile info and then promptly forgot about it for the majority of the next few weeks. It felt like this abstract thing that I mentioned to people, as a sort of "Isn't this hilarious?" conversation topic. (Also: a "these things still exist!" conversation topic.) It didn't feel like something I was really going to have to do.

Until the week before, of course.

In a panic, I got my hair cut and colored. It was a disaster, and I had to go back to the salon to get it fixed. I walked around with frizz and zits for days, certain it wouldn't get better before the auction. In my attempt to not make the night feel like a Big Thing, I hadn't bothered shopping for a new outfit, and that just added another layer of anxiety to the mix a few days beforehand: Do I own anything appropriate for this kind of scenario? Do I own anything that makes me look even vaguely appealing?

The day of, I rushed home from work, cracked open a bottle of wine, and frantically texted my friends for makeup tips. (When was the last time I'd worn eyeshadow?!?) My dress of choice was one I've had for probably four years at this point; the heels were shoes I cursed at last year's Christmas party when I could barely walk by the end of the night.

I inhaled a burrito, downed half the bottle of Chardonnay, and hopped into a Lyft.

The event was held at ICON nightclub, and this marked my first ever visit to a nightclub, period. I teetered up the steps, signed in, and was forced to slap on a name tag that I spent the rest of the night trying to smooth down. I'd known that another girl from work — the pitcher from our company softball team — was doing the auction, too, but it turned out that two more Wayfair people had volunteered, as well. I chatted with them for bit while I sipped my $14 (it's-for-charity, it's-for-charity) vodka tonic, and then forced myself to work the room.

We were encouraged to mingle and talk to guests before the auction, but at that point in the evening, it was nothing but a sea of fellow auctionees. I was impressed by the array of people who'd thrown their hats into the ring: heavyweight fighter, CEO, personal trainer, designer, police officer, engineer, performance artist (yup), marketing manager...the list went on. One thing I realized after talking to people was that most had brought along an entourage of friends and family who could be relied on to bid for them if things became dire.

Per usual, I was completely and utterly solo.

I was having a pretty good time talking with the others, joking (but secretly serious) that my goal was to go for at least $30. It was at that point that one guy, who had participated in the auction before, proceeded to tell me that the highest bid last year was $450.

Whaaaaaaat.

If you know me, if you've read this blog, if you've ever talked to me for a significant amount of time, you know that I'm a total Scrooge McDuck. I don't pinch pennies; I cling to them with a death grip.

It's at this point that people usually chime in with "Yeah, but it's for charity..."

Valid. But the way my mind works? Something like $175 would be my big, all-out bid. Even if it's for a good cause. So, needless to say, I was pretty shocked.

At that point, guests had finally begun to arrive, so I said goodbye to my comrades and started circling the room, awkwardly trying to insert myself into conversations and introduce myself to people. I managed to talk to four non-participants before the bidding began and I was summoned to the stage, told that I'd be the second woman auctioned off. (What do you mean, second?!)

The stage was a tiny thing at the front of the club, and our hosts for the evening were two local radio personalities. (Thanks for dressing up, guys.) The first man up had a little choreographed number planned to the James Bond theme song, and bidding started at $100.

It started at $100?? There went my $30 goal.

Number One had bids pile up pretty quickly, and eventually sold for $300 (they went in increments of $50). One of the next guys opted for a PG-13 strip tease to earn his bids. The first female was an executive chef who loved yoga (theme of the night: all girls "love yoga") and she had a respectable number of bidders.

It all went much too quickly. It was my turn before I knew it.

The upside? There was no time for a full-blown panic attack. I clung to the stair rail and made my way onto the stage. The hosts had some fun with my profile, offering to the crowd that I was good at fixing things: "Guys, she can fix your toilet!" (Nope, really can't.) And the second they started the bidding, I had an offer — one of the people I talked to earlier in the evening! Two points for awkward socializing.

And then something crazy happened. Someone else put in a counter-bid. It was a guy in the back of the room, too far to tell if it had been one of the other people I'd met. But it set off a full-on bidding war.

If there's anything more surreal than watching perfect strangers offer to pay large sums of money just to spend an evening with you, it's this: watching a perfect stranger pay $650 to spend an evening with you. Also known as: the highest bid of the night.

I think the look on my face in that picture pretty much says it all.

So what have I learned from this experience?

#1. I will do almost anything for a good story.
#2. I should probably invest in different shoes.
#3. I'm actually pretty good at holding a conversation when forced to turn on the charm.
#4. I should avoid mentioning my love of yoga in any future dating profiles.

Am I pleased I was able to raise that much for Project Smile? Heck yes. Did I gain a little smug boost of confidence in that moment? Guilty. By the time the night was over, though, that had worn off and mostly I just felt a combination of hysterical laughter, confusion, and squirming uncomfortableness.

I don't all of a sudden think I'm hot stuff, and that guys are going to actually start noticing me now (though I did leave the club with a phone number). Realistically, I just happened to talk to the right person at the beginning of the night — someone who was willing to donate a significant amount of money to the charity no matter what — and I managed to pick a good conversation topic (books, you never let me down).

But at the very least, I learned this, too:

#5. I'm worth more than just $30.

PSA: Watco Danish Oil is the Shit.

We've already established that I've been a regular Craigslisting fiend lately, but what I skimmed over in my last post is the fact that these finds usually don't arrive in pristine condition.

Take my glorious, beautiful chairs. General Assembly, a company here in Boston that hosts professional development classes (think stuff about online marketing, coding, engineering, etc.), was moving their offices and needed to unload 14 of these puppies, so I jumped on the opportunity. However, due to some crazy planning on my part, I wasn't able to pick up my four until the last available day.

Translation: I got the ones that no one else wanted.

That's not to say that I regret my decision, but I did feel a little knot of worry when I was loading them into the car. There were some fairly noticeable scratches and gouges in the wood, and one had a particularly dark stain on the woven seat. But how much can you complain when you're getting something for reportedly 10% of the original price?

Deep breaths. I could fix this.

You know how when you first move out on your own and really start cooking for yourself, you realize that recipes call for all these spices and seasonings? And that stuff is actually really freaking expensive? It sucks buying everything for the first time, but then you're pretty much set for the next 5-10 years. (I cook pretty exclusively with paprika, garlic powder, and cinnamon. Everything else is virtually untouched.) (Don't be me. Throw away your spices after like, a year.)

Anyway, that's how it is when you first start building an arsenal of tools and magical potions acquired from the Home Depot. Luckily, I've already dipped my toes in that water and had some handy things already waiting in the closet to come to my aid. Namely: steel wool, Murphy Clean & Shine for wood furniture, and Watco Danish Oil in natural.

A little elbow grease, a little actual grease, and some oil later, and my chairs were looking pretty great. The scuffs buffed out and those ugly scrapes and gouges? Completely filled in by the oil.

All that was left was the stain.

I threw everything I had at it. Oxyclean. Mineral spirits. Nail polish remover. (I'm pretty sure it's paint.) And while I'm still not convinced there isn't more I can try, I'm pretty pleased with how far it's come.

Plus, I plan on either have it tucked in under a table or draped with a throw blanket the majority of the time anyway, so I'm not too disappointed.

I officially have seating for six now! Whoo! Party at my place. Except not, because the only kinds of parties I like are parties I can leave at any moment.

Adventures in Craigslisting

Psst. I have a secret.

Even though I work for a furniture company, and am finally at the stage in my life where I'm no longer juggling two part-time jobs and not just barely missing the threshold for the low-income tax break (seriously, Massachusetts?!), I still love getting stuff second-hand.

Goodwill. Boomerang's. Buffalo Exchange. Random thrift stores and consignment shops. My eye is always drawn to them when I'm in the car, wishing I had the time to stop and poke around. But my free time is extremely limited, and typically doesn't show up until around 9 p.m. on a weeknight, which is why my favorite will forever and always be the great and powerful (and always open) Craigslist.

Is there anything better than the thrill of the virtual chase? Scrolling though page after page of crappy snapshots until the perfect piece jumps out at you. Frantically emailing the seller and either trying to bend over backwards to fit their schedule or playing it coy, negotiating for a better deal. Sweet-talking your friends into helping you load and unload endless random things from your perfectly sized car.

(For years, my dad drove a Mercedes station wagon, the ultimate luxury brand and the ultimate dorkmobile model. He claimed he needed the wagon so he could "haul stuff." Sadly, I understand this desire a little too well.)

Maybe one day I'll prefer the convenience of ordering brand new stuff. But for now, I'm still cheapskate Lisa, who loves a good deal and good story above all else. 

Like the time I scored vintage post office bins for $4 a piece at a random garage sale on the way to the Brimfield Flea (did I buy anything at Brimfield? 'Course not. That place is pricey!). Or the time I picked up my dining table from a trailer park after dark in Nowheresville, PA. Or my trusty green dresser, which went to me because I told the buyer how much I loved the color and how perfectly it would match my duvet cover. 

...Or, more recently, the IKEA bookshelf that I thought would fit in my friend's car but most certainly did not, so I ended up crouched in between the shelves in the back seat, trying to hold the trunk closed with a combination of brute strength and strategically placed seat belts.

(Sorry, mom.) (More to come on that shelf soon, because I made some modifications and now have it all set up, and I'm pretty pleased with myself.)

Here's how it works: there's cheap, there's picky, and there's impatient. You can be impatient and cheap, but you gotta take whatever you can get. You can be cheap and picky, but you've gotta be willing to wait around for the right thing. Or you can be picky and impatient, but whatever you end up with sure as hell ain't gonna be cheap.

For now, I'm settling with being cheap and picky. And flexing my patience muscle, waiting for the right thing to come along.

Like, oh, say for instance, these babies:

I don't even know how I stumbled upon this listing a mere 20 minutes after it was posted, but when I saw it there was a heavenly choir playing in my head. Well, that, and the part from Dane Cook's Just Wanna Dance bit: "MINE. SHE'S MINE." (1:27 for your reference. You're welcome.)

So I scored four of these babies for less than one currently costs. They're certainly not in perfect condition (it didn't help that I had the last pick of the lot), but I think I can clean 'em up a bit and they'll work just fine. Once I buy a table, that is.

I also picked up a dresser this week, but that story deserves it's own post. Especially after I'm done giving it a brand new paint job. Basically this whole post is just a teaser for things to come.

Thanks, Craigslist!

Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore

It's been too long, I know. This summer flew by in a flurry of apartment hunting, packing, moving, and traveling, but I made a special effort to plan one very important trip: a visit to the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore.

For all you non-Michigan natives out there, the Pictured Rocks are located in the Upper Peninsula of my fair home state, a region known for its pasties, smoked fish, taxidermy, and Canadian-esque accents. Also? It's crazy beautiful.

My first visit happened back in 2009, and it remains one of my favorite places in the world (I already want to go back again next year for a longer stay). This year, I managed to convince my two brothers to join me. Here are some tips and things to do and see if you go (which, no question, you should):

Break up the trip.

People in New England are used to being able to drive half a day or less and be in another state, but that ain't how it works in Michigan. Unless you're wildly wealthy (let's be friends) and can afford to fly into one of the small airports in northern Michigan, you'll probably be driving from one of the larger, more southern hubs, like Detroit. My brother, Kevin, lives in Petoskey, Michigan, so we drove up to his place one day (roughly 4.5 hours), hung out around town, and then continued on to Munising (where the Pictured Rocks are) the next morning (another 2.5 hours).

Northern Michigan, whether you're on the Upper or Lower Peninsula, is gorgeous, so it's worth spending time in some of the cities along the way. Though we didn't stop there, Mackinaw City is a popular spot, along with Mackinac Island, which is entirely car-free and accessible only by ferry (that's where all the famous fudge comes from). Traverse City is known for its cherries. And Petoskey and Harbor Springs are cute beach towns that are also close to the major Michigan ski resorts, Boyne and Nub's Nob.

If you're near Harbor Springs, I highly recommend checking out Pond Hill Farm, which has a winery, brewery, and cafe, and is a working farm (there were piglets!). We did a tasting in the winery (the Cottage White and 2013 Chardonnay were my favorites, though the cherry wine was pretty interesting, too) and enjoyed the beautiful view of the grounds. They also have farm-to-table dinners and barn dances, which I really, really wished I could go to. Basically, this would be my regular hangout spot if I was a local.

For dinner, we tried Barrel Back, which was right on the water of nearby Walloon Lake. The food was good, the view was great, and there was randomly a bouncy castle set up right outside. Pretty much the perfect combination.

Book a campsite ahead of time.

I had grand visions of camping in one of the few sites within the park itself, which was foolish on my part since you can't reserve them ahead of time and my brothers are especially slow at getting going in the morning. Unsurprisingly, by the time we got to town, all those sites were full (there are only three major sites)  — and all the surrounding ones outside the park, too. We wasted a lot of time driving around, trying to find an open spot (that far north, there's practically no cell service, so we couldn't call ahead or look up places on the fly).

In the future, I'd book a spot at one of the closest campsites and either be satisfied with that, or try my luck at one of the park sites first thing the next morning. Even then, though, I don't know the likelihood of securing a place, so reserving elsewhere is your best bet. We grabbed the last spot on the grounds at Jack Pine Lodge, which was actually fairly charming in its cheesiness. When I have the choice, though, I prefer sites where there's some brush and trees between you and your neighbor, and no RVs.

Backcountry camping is possible without a permit, but we heard differing rules about building fires in the backcountry (was it allowed? or not?), and we'd been talking about hot dogs and s'mores for days at this point, so that was a dealbreaker. If I ever got a bigger group to go for a longer stay, I'd definitely look into renting a house, too, but I personally enjoy camping and get a kick out of putting all my gear to good use.

Get on the water.

The first time I was here, I went with two friends and we brought kayaks with us. (Thinking back, the fact that we drove eight hours, on the freeway, with two kayaks tied to the top of my mom's car with nothing but some straps and bumpers is pretty insane.) I highly recommend doing the same if you can, because I loved the freedom of exploring the rocks at my own pace and being able to go into the caves and jump into the water when I felt like it.

Since we didn't have enough kayaks to go around this trip, we chose to book a guided kayak tour along the rocks with a company that seems to be having an identity crisis and is either Paddling Michigan or Uncle Ducky Outdoors. Either way, it was fun and a great way to see the rocks.

There are also pontoon boats available to rent, so if I went back with a larger group, I'd definitely rent one for a day and explore that way, too. Do it all!

Go hiking.

I think my brother Matt would disagree with this one, but half the fun of this place is walking around and exploring. We got in a pretty major loop on our last day, and while I don't think any of us were really prepared for how long it was, it gave us some amazing views along the way.

Above is the route we took, and I would definitely do it again. Next time, however, I'd pack a lunch and towel and take a break at the beach near Chapel Rock to relax in the sand and go for a swim. From there, the hike along the water is the best part; make sure to stop at Grand Portal Point and enjoy the cliffs and clear view they allow. From Mosquito Campground back to the parking lot is just walking through the woods, but the time along the water makes it all worth it.

Hit the beach.

We didn't have time for a dedicated beach day, but on longer trips, there's nothing I love more than laying in the sun, napping, and occasionally dipping your toes into Lake Superior (it's freezing!). The sand here is unlike anything I've experienced else where in the U.S. It's soft, but not powdery. Thick, but not rocky or heavy. The closest thing I could compare it to? Brown sugar.

The beach near Miner's Castle is perfect, and if you're brave enough to go in the water, you can easily swim to some of the caves and climb onto the rocks (and then jump back in!). 

Embrace the quirk.

The Mystery Spot. Moose heads. Puns. Motorcycle gangs. Road-tripping retirees. The Upper Peninsula has it all (except, perhaps, Wi-Fi and cell service). While you're here, embrace the fact that your best food options are pasties and smoked fish, and take in all the weird, cheap, and low-brow treasures that Northern Michigan has to offer.

Pictured Rocks, I love you.

5 Things I Googled This Week

I'm a curious person. Don't get me wrong — the library is great and will always be one of my favorite places in the world, but I LOVE Google. From my time as a student, to my days as a fact-checker, all the way up to today, I find myself looking up weird stuff all the time. So, rather than doing a weekly round-up of the same interesting links that all my favorite blogs are already showcasing, I thought I'd try something a little different. A little more random.

Enjoy.

1. "What is a group of sharks called?"
   Among other things, a group of sharks is called a frenzy or a shiver. So appropriately cool. Other awesome ones: a crash of rhinoceroses, a tower of giraffes, a prickle of porcupines, and a kaleidoscope of butterflies. Believe it or not, this was work-related research.
    
2. "How to move on Sept 1st in Boston"
   Fun fact: the majority (like, almost two-thirds) of apartments in Boston have leases that start on September 1st. That means that a  good chunk of people are moving out of their old apartments on August 31st, and I have no idea what happens in between. You could theoretically have to be out of your previous place by midnight on August 31st, but not allowed into the new spot until as late as 11 a.m. the following day. Does everyone just sleep in their moving truck? One recommendation I'm looking into: negotiating with the previous tenant to try to move in a little early. Every hour helps!
    
3. "Michigan Mystery Spot"
   I'm planning a trip home over Labor Day weekend, including a jaunt up north to one of my favorite places ever: the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. Every trip to the Upper Peninsula, however, comes with the urge to check out the famous Mystery Spot in St. Ignace. TripAdvisor reviews call it both a "fun time" and "boooooooring." I know it's a tourist trap, but I'm SO TEMPTED. 
    
4. "Louis Vuitton store in the middle of the desert"
   I was at a party last Saturday night, chatting with some new people, and when I mentioned that my office is located in "the fancy mall," we got onto the topic of high-end stores, which lead to them telling me about this store that's in the middle of nowhere in Nevada that existed solely for the sake of being unusual. I vowed to look into this more later. Searching with "Louis Vuitton" yielded no results (hey, I was kind of tipsy at the time), and I started to feel sad that maybe they were mistaken, but when I changed my query to "High fashion store in the middle of the desert": BINGO. There is a Prada "installation" in the Chihuahuan desert, near Marfa, Texas, that has drawn thousands of visitors (including Beyonce).
    
5. "Michelle Obama speech dnc 2016"
   Gave me goosebumps.

Cooking for Lazy People: Breakfast Go-Tos

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and for me, this has always felt more like a written-in-stone rule of life than a platitude. Maybe it's because I have been known to wake up at 3 a.m. simply because I was hungry. Maybe it's because I enjoy coffee, but it's always been food that actually gets me going in the morning. Maybe it's because my stomach is a bottomless black pit that doesn't care if I have to leave for work in ten minutes OMG FEED ME NOW.

No matter the reason, the only way I skip breakfast is if I sleep through it. But that doesn't always jive with my reluctance to get up early and my inevitable habit of losing track of time while I do my makeup and simultaneously watch TV.

My solution? Eat breakfast at work. Sounds simple, and it is, once you have a few go-to items that travel easily, keep well, and are quick to grab. Here are mine:

WHATEVER-YOU-LIKE GRANOLA (& GREEK YOGURT)

Granola truly is hippie food. It welcomes all, works best within a loose structure, and is usually a little nutty. This is the recipe I follow, but it's incredibly forgiving and allows for customizing based on what you have on hand and what you, personally, enjoy. No flax seed? Whatever. (That stuff took way too long to use up, anyway.) Want more orange flavor? Add a little zest in, along with the juice. It's allllll good, man.

4 cups of oats
1 1/2 cups almonds
1/2 cup pecans
3/4 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
2 tablespoons flax seeds
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup orange juice

Heat the oven to 300° F and cook for 30 minutes, pausing to stir the mix at the 15-minute mark so it cooks evenly. When you remove the batch, I find it best to stir once more before leaving it to cool; this way the granola won't stick to the pan.

Once it's ready, I dump the batch into a gallon Ziploc bag and keep it in my desk until it's all gone. Sure, I look like a weirdo, using my mug to scoop granola out of my top drawer and into my bowl of yogurt, but I'm usually too hungry to care.

Adapted from this original recipe.

OVERNIGHT CHAI OATS

The oatmeal I knew growing up was mushy, came from a pouch, and only tasted good if you got the brown sugar & cinnamon kind. I'll still eat it, but nowadays, I save those for camping and make my day-to-day oatmeal a bit more substantial.

Want to know why everyone's raving about steel-cut oats? Because they taste better, nerd. The fact that they don't have the consistency of homemade paste alone makes them superior to regular oats, but I admit the longer cooking time is a hassle. So, overnight, no-cook oatmeal is kind of the greatest thing ever.

1 cup steel-cut oats
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ginger
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon cardamom
2 tablespoons ground flax meal
1 tablespoon maple syrup or brown sugar (whichever I have around)
1 1/2 to 2 cups plain almond milk

Mix together and leave to set in the refrigerator overnight.

It took a little trial and error, but these are the ratios that I prefer. Following the original recipe produced something too spicy for my tastes; it required a lot more sugar to even out the taste, so I simply dialed down the spices. Also, the 1:1 ratio of oats to almond milk made it too dry and crunchy; adding more milk really makes a difference. (And serving with crushed pecans and coconut flakes doesn't hurt, either.)

You can make it in any container you'd like, but mason jars make you look extra cool and have the bonus of not exploding in your purse on the way to work. Unlike Trader Joe's chicken marsala with mashed potatoes. THANKS, TJ'S.

BREAKFAST CRUNCH WRAP SUPREME

Taco Bell has given us many great things in life: cheap, filling food when you're drunk; a life-long hatred of Chihuahuas; and the perfect method for turning a tortilla into a portable carrier of deliciousness.

This one takes more preparation and planning than the other two, but some days, oatmeal and granola just won't cut it. That's when these these packets of deliciousness come in handy.

My friend, Leela, sent me this recipe when I was moaning about my lack of good breakfast options, but I honestly used it more for the assembly directions than the recipe itself. Where they mixed just scrambled eggs, hot sauce, and cheese, I prefer to fill mine with eggs, sauteed onion and red pepper, hash browns, and sausage. (I start with six eggs and just kind of eyeball the rest of the ingredients to make it an even spread.)

Be sure to take a look at the helpful instructional video to master the perfect folding technique. Or to laugh at the horrible video graphics that Taco Bell tortures all its new employees with.

Once you've assembled you're wraps, I recommend placing on a cookie sheet to freeze, and then storing them all together in (you guessed it) yet another gallon Ziploc bag. For best reheating results, first microwave for 1-2 minutes and then finish in a toaster oven or panini press for a crispy exterior.

Happy breakfasting, folks.

Writerly Things Update

It's July, and that means that a fresh batch of stuff from Birch Lane Kids. Check out a few of my favorite spreads from the newest catalog over at my portfolio (BLK now has its own dedicated section) and, if you're feeling young-at-heart, maybe shop for some adorable home decor.

Personally, I recommend:

Jungle Jumble Bedding Set: Deep in the heart of this jungle lives a posse of wild animals your child will love, all illustrated in a fun cartoon style. A dark blue abstract pattern on the reverse side allows for the option to completely change the look at a moment's notice.

Aim is True Bedding Set: This bedding set is a true bullseye when it comes to style. The comforter's abstract, arrow-inspired design pops in shades of cool aqua and warm goldenrod, and the reverse side features a coordinating pattern.

Hobbes Captain's Bed: A salute to those in need of some serious storage, the Hobbes Captain's Bed offers four drawers, two open cubbies, and plenty of underbed space that's easily accessible by a sliding footboard panel. Capped off by simple arched designs and spindle detailing, this bed is ready to take on clutter and look good at the same time. Aye aye, captain!

Pod Squad Curtains: A repeating pattern of whale silhouettes gives these curtains a cool, graphic look which incorporates pops of color into its neutral palette. Set of two.

USA! USA! Canvas: You can teach your kids about the 50 states by enduring a 224-hour road trip (plus flights to Alaska and Hawaii)…or you can use this map, printed on professionally wrapped canvas with fun, bright colors. Your sanity will thank you.

Stay Gold Cloud Wall Cubby: Your style forecast is cloudy with a chance of awesome when you add this cute wall cubby to your child's room. A black and white triangle print adds a graphic punch to the look, while the gold finish brings some metal to the mix.

Next up: I pitched in with the new DwellStudio catalog for Fall. Once it's been mailed, I'll have some pretty exciting stuff to share!

If I Can Do it, You Can: Refreshing Butcher Block

When I moved into my current apartment, I knew that one of the first things I needed to do was find a way to add more counter space and storage to the kitchen. If you don't recall, it used to look like this:

Don't worry, everything you need to know about is shown in the photo. That small strip of countertop where the sink is on the left? That's literally the only surface area in the entire room. Maybe satisfactory for two dudes who don't cook, but I knew it would be a problem for me. So I hunted down a coffee cart on Craigslist and a kitchen island at a garage sale, and those helped turn that depressing space into this:

That was about three years ago, and I LOVE that island. It's not really my style, but it's a total workhorse and there's no way I'd be able to feed myself without it. So, when I woke up to a forecast of crappy weather and absolutely nothing scheduled, I decided to refinish the top.

You know, as one randomly decides to do at 10:30 in the morning on a Saturday.

Some quick Googling confirmed that it's a fairly straightforward process involving my number one activity in the whole wide world: sanding! JOY. You can read the directions from a legit source here, but it basically boils down to: (1) sand with medium grit paper, (2) sand with fine grit paper, (3) sand with even finer grit paper (if you're fancy like me), and (4) wax on, wax off.

So I broke out the trusty power sander and got to work, not realizing until the dust began to fly that, maybe, I should have changed out of my pajamas first.

Eh, whatever.

Here's what the top used to look like:

Lotta rings and water marks going on there, from before I added a protective bottom to my vintage tobacco cans.

Once everything was sanded down and smooth, I wiped away the sawdust and started in with the Feed-N-Wax. Not only is it good for the butcher block, but it makes the wood look pretty and smells like oranges.

And when I was all done, the kitchen island was back to looking shiny and new! Or, at least, as new as it was when I bought it used from some family in Jamaica Plain. MAGIC.

Whoop whoop! So there you go. Adrienne thinks this is "fancy," but as you can see, if a sometimes-idiot like me can do it, pretty much anyone can. (As long as you own a power sander. Which pretty much everyone should anyway. Oh, the FUN that comes with it!)

It's a Good Thing I'm Pretty Immature

The time has come to finally reveal what I was not-so-subtly alluding to in my last writerly post. Despite what my brother's friends assumed, I am most certainly NOT pregnant (how would that be job-related, guys?). Nope, the big (little) news is that Birch Lane Kids has officially launched!

When this project was first announced, I was a little wary. I don't have kids. None of my friends have kids. I don't even really like most kids. But it turns out that I spent very little time writing as if I had kids, and plenty of time writing as if I was a kid. And that is something I'm quite good at, so the whole thing was actually a blast.

The assortment is pretty small at the moment, but we're rolling out another catalog in July (the April one is in homes now; you can see some of my copy from it here), so expect the selection to keep growing. In the meantime, I'll keep on thinking up pun-tastic product names (somehow I got away with naming a new rug "Moves Like Zigzagger") and trying my best to argue against a complete onslaught of pink.